Half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herding space pirate

Sunday, July 30, 2006

pictures of Sally

if you feel like seeing a few more or want to help boost my rating check her out here as well

just 2 guys

awesome video

so this is what people that go/went to stanford do?

whacked video

Friday, July 28, 2006

your daily dose of zen

toilet humor is great. make sure to watch all the way to the beach stuff.


it rained on sally last night. my poor brand new car getting all kinds of rain on her. poor baby. it was all beaded up real nice when i came outside this morning. and those beads of water were all gone after i hit the gas hehehe.

i know i'm slacking with the pictures. but i got her late on monday, spent tuesday night with the boys, and got home late, tired, and hungry after going to the gym after work weds and thurs... there will be pics up by monday, i hope. as long as it doesnt rain all weekend...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

for your next trip to new york

eat here

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

new show to watch?

"This SUPER great person, Michelle, (aka anonymous) took time out of her VERY VERY VERY busy and SUPER important day to kindly email me this link to post on my blog. new superheroes?

i shouldn't have forgotten to give her credit with the inital post and caused her to shed buckets of tears.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

the boss

click here

picture this...

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

i'll put these on my car...

if you buy them for me...

only $17,000.00


Monday, July 17, 2006

clique this!

ever get pigeon-holed into a certain group? while i like to think i spread myself around to a lot of different groups of peoples, I know deep down i belong to the group of dorky guys.

sure i go out with the drinkers after work and sometimes on weekends. i play for one of the companies' softball teams. and i even fanagled my way into the group of fitness people (don't ask how i pulled that one off). i have been told that i'm "in" with the cool people at work. and almost everyone knows that i spend one night a week with the boys playing dungeons and dragons-esque games which most people consider real dorky, but we enjoy them just fine (heroclix is a staple). (for more references of available cliques see the "mean girls" or "not another teen movie" or "disturbing behavior" cafteria scenes)

the problem for me comes when someone/people from one group are left out from something of another group. i kinda feel bad and guilty that i get invited and someone else didnt, and there doesn't seem to be any rationale behind it.

it does seem like a lot of people know me simply because Stan paved the way meeting people here and when i started it seemed like everyone already knew me because stan had put the word out, which is a good thing, because these days its almost more about who you know than what you know...

but, i digress, being in the middle of so many groups often gets me in trouble. heaven forbid i try to organize anything because i always forget to include someone. and then there's always that one person that thinks you're the greatest thing since sliced bread or tv, but you can't stand. generally because they are either a) so clueless, b) ridiculously annoying, or c) a stalker.

anyways i guess the point is this... knowing people has its up and downsides, but i can't bring myself to totally lock myself away from the world... i mean seriously if i do that how is ms alba going to find me....


got word yesterday my brother wrecked his car. He is fine except for a bruise on his shoulder from the seatbelt. I didn't get all the details of the accident. But he text'ed me that the car is totaled. this makes dave sad. it was a beautiful pontiac 2005 GTO. in case you're wondering about the post title he called it sheila. name originates from the fact it was based off the australian car from holden monero. and the australian slang for a woman is sheila (mna ib bloke) crazy aussies.

heres pretty much what it looked like

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

For those about to rock... we present strongbad

i know i've put it up here before, but maybe you didnt put in the effort to get involved with strongbad, or maybe some new readers have joined the fray...

so here we go again.... strongbad...


my fave SB email..

this is pretty good too..

and one final good example

there are plenty of others if you want to watch, but i figure most people could at least find these few entertaining and maybe get hooked...

blow me septa!

im god damned tired of septa. and those that ride it. well at least the 23 route along germantown ave. at least half of the septa drivers on that route are complete fucking morons. or just straight out assholes. the bus stops are clearly designated. and yet the drivers refuse to pull over into them to pick up passengers and allow traffic to flow past. the god damnned idiots don't want to let anyone get in front of them so they can quickly finish the fucking route and get a hoagie at wawa and sit on their fat asses and get paid.

well fuck that. if they realized that if they let the other cars get past then there wouldnt be such a huge fucking jam up behind them, which slows down the bus next on the route. if they all worked together it would actually work the way its supposed to... but no. the fucksticks are selfish bastards and block off the lane of traffic... sometimes both lanes!

the people that ride are no better... they take their grand old time getting on and off at the stops. or try to feign running from 75ft away to get the bus before it pulls away... they wave the bus driver to stay and wait then the slow up to a snails crawl and then jabber to the driver further delaying everyone else who is waiting or their fat slow ass to get the fuck on the bus and let us get goin.

then when they get off the bus they know the retard drivers will run them over if they cross in front of the bus, so what do they do... walk behind the bus and out into the middle of the street. well fuck me sideways, because ill be damned if i can see thru a 35 ft bus that has no windows in the back of it so you can see oncoming traffic. no they damn near get hit and then jump in front of you. and then look at you like "why the hell are you trying to hit me?" ITS A FUCKING STREET! for MOVING CARS! thats why there are crosswalks dickheads!

/rant off

if you only heard me while i'm in the car... i put sailors to shame with my swearing...

thank god i don't have a bat in the car or i'd pull a michael douglas in what's that movie.... oh wait i do have 2 softball bats in the trunk....

watch out for the headlines tomorrow...

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

this is just plain wrong...

props to holz...


what to buy?





an awesome quote

life is like a shit sandwich. . . the more bread you have the less shit you have to eat

dees are not hash brownies mon. put your clothes back on white boy

im noticing some fashion trends lately that i find disturbing.

1) what the fuck is it with guys wearing pink shirts? where i grew up if you wore pink... and weren't a female... you were a fag, and i dont mean a cigarette.
maybe its the setting i work in or maybe guys are just pussies nowadays. but there is way too much pink being worn lately.

2)fat chicks in tight clothes. driving home yesterday i see this lady wearing some real tight fitting top and her gut that hung over her jeans was hanging out from under her shirt. do people honestly think they look hot, just because the clothes are tight? i mean i could certainly stand to lose a few pounds.... but sure as fuck don't see me running around in spandex or lycra or a speedo... haha get that mental image out of your head!

3) "the uniform" aka a white t-shirt that would fit a refrigerator and hangs below the knees and a pair of jeans that would fully expose the ass if they didnt have ratty ass boxers on. yea you know who im talking about that dresses like this. i couldnt tell the difference between the 2 of you before. you dont have to dress the same. go get a job. that doesnt involve illegal drugs or stealing rims.

4)the wife beater. i saw an ad in a flyer that actually called it that. since when did it become cool to wear what the trailer trash around the old neighborhood wore? you don't have a 6 pack or arms nearly big enough to support your cause of being tough. put a god damned full sleeve tshirt on.

p.s. in case your wondering the title comes from the movie euro-trip where a skinny white boy thinks he's all high in amsterdam and gets near naked in a rastafarian diner...

more points to ponder....

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Monday, July 10, 2006

even more ideas for the car

check out what this guy did to his mustang... freakin awesome


brace yourself

let it be stated for the record, that this was sent to my brother approximately half an hour after my previous email to him, (before i took a poop). and that this is at least 5 years old... and was titled my greatest email ever...

ok i just got off the toilet and had one of those revelations like smart scientific dudes, or zany writers of austin powers. like what if you got the email i sent five minutes ago (before i took a poop) already? i was expecting you to not get it until the morning of friday oct 26th. but it is entirely possible that you had to come back and check email and saw it already. in which case you might be severely disappointed that friday morning as there would be no new mail from me sitting there for you. this could cause you not to send me a new email and therefore i might not send one back. this mightgo on until one of us goes beserk wondering why the other didn't send a new email until someone breaks the chain and sends a new email. BUT, what if we both sent a new email at exactly the same time, and stuff that one said countered/answered/co-incided with what the other said? then, even more strangely, what if we both replied at the same time? we might start a never ending string of emails, each more confusing than the last as i try to answer your questions from a past email while a the future set of questions is already there in my mail box. in which case, you might get totally dumbfounded and your brain might "lock-up" as multitudes of "bad" information came to you a day late.

you might end up in a mental institute, all because the email chain was somehow cosmically re-arranged and was skewed into an alternate time-line. on the other hand i could be the one to become totally dysfunctional, as the questions or comments you make relate to the email of a day or two before hand,where i have to go back and dig thru my mailbox, hopingthat i had not deleted said message to find out what you are talking about. i could become manaical (sp?). i might go on a craze where i walk throughout philly with the strange "where am i look" that homeless people often have. i could be lost to all civilization and even humanity as no one in this city really cares who you are if you haven't done something super neat for them. even stranger is the thought that somehow an email each of us sent is temporarily delayed in delivery. much like an ordinary letter you might send through the U.S. mail, that fell behind a counter, or got put in the wrong bag, and ends up getting to its' destination weeks later than it should have. but usually in that case, it is just a random letter that someone sent to someone else talking about this and that and nothing really, but also everything at the same time. But, in this new world where email travels quicker than lightning, getting that letter out of order might disrupt a whole persons day, or even week. they might stay online a bit longer, wondering where their reply email was. and then just before they logoff, they think, i'll just check my email one more time. then remember something else they wanted to check online and perpetuate the amount of time they spend online. it could become a vicious cycle, and result in that person not performing other tasks they are supposed to accomplish. But getting back to both of our letters being delayed, what would we then do? we might both think the other is not replying again. which might bring us near to the beginning of falling out of sequence with emails. which i have already discussed the problems with. but on the other hand, what if the letters got delayed just long enough to allow us to "catch up" with the emails and no longer be answering queries out of order and a day late? we would then be in perfect harmony. and might cause the revelation of a new existence of lifestyle. we might cause the beginning of shangri-la (the perfectplace). all might become one with zen and karma would spread equal among all. the human race would have never known a better time. and it would all be the result of a series of emails. think of the possibilities. so as i attempt to reach my point, which there definitely is one, even though you thought I am probably just rambling on and on droning about mission statements and such, I come to the realization that every email is significant. even though i am not fortunate enough to hear the little AOL "you've got mail" i still get the warm and tingly feeling when i get a letter from someone i know. Which is a totally different feeling than when I recieve a letter from some guy named "spam". of which recently i have been getting more and more of every day. these emails bring about feelings of hate and anger, which i know are the beginings of my trip down the dark path, that will forever dominate my destiny. but i try to delete all these "piece o' junk" emails and control my outrage that someone knows how to get to my secret identity on the internet. it's as if they just snuck into my apartment while i was sleeping and peeked into my wallet to find out my name, not taking anything valuable, except my name, which may be the most valuable thing they could take, depending on your point of view. but, getting back to trying to get to the point of this whole email is that how important are the random thoughts we have each day? they lead into our minds one after another and can take us to places we never thought possible, but always dreamed about. my real question is how many of us are actually willing to follow these random thoughts or to verbalize them? I would hope that you understand by now that i am one of the lucky few who can, and more importantly does. is it this concept that keeps me sane in an insane world? or is it the genius that the insane lament? i'm not quite sure. but i do also realize that this rare ability has also lead me to other rare abilities. like the ability to watch others and realize what they are thinking as they hustle on by like dust in the wind. they pay no attention to me, but i pay all my attention to them. i see the significance in a single leaf falling from the tree and hitting the ground after tumbling for what can seem like seconds to me, but maybe a lifetime to the leaf itself. so as i leave you with all these things to contemplate, I will give you the final most important message that I meant to give you way back after the part about messing up the order of emails, so here it is:

Kids, DON'T SMOKE CRACK! and if you all hadn't known this before I am sure you will never forget it. thank you for your time and patience, of listening to the non-sensical ramblings of a lunatic madman.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006


so the last week or 2 the kitchen ceiling has been dripping. i finally get up to look at the roof and what do i find? well the neighbors resided their house, and without asking me, did the side of my house that faces theirs. i am fine if they want to do it for free. but they never did ask me or say one word to me about it and... whoever did it, did a piss poor job of it... especially when you look at the pictures and see how well they finished it.

notice the light blue of my siding and the grey of the new stuff. its great when you can see through the hole in your house to the plywood thats holding the shingles on. and the spot where someone snipped of the flashing that used to be covered with roof tar to make a nice waterproof seal all gone...

so where do i go from here? homeowners ins? lawyer? a contractor to get an estimate?

i believe the siding was done within the past month, but i can be sure. it's not often i go out on the roof just to look at stuff...