Half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herding space pirate

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

why i hate people.... aka another reason im going to hell...

So i'm standing in line at wendy's last night and this older lady is in front of me. at first she is correcting the young kids in front of her to chew their gum with their mouths closed because it will make them look more intelligent and less like a cow. I got a grin, but wondered what the kids were going to say back to her, but they just got their stuff and left. so she turns around and says i have stomach and lung cancer and i never smoked a day in my life. im going in for surgery on thursday.

WTF do you say to that?

luckily the guy behind me said something to her, but she goes on and on about different stuff.. mainly because the cashier has disappeared..

then she starts talking about how she worked for the army for 32 years, and that to lose weight they ate hard boiled egg whites without the yolks.... she looks at me and says you dont have to be proud of that watermelon... zipper up that jacket.

now thanks to my parents i try to be respectful to most people... but when you are going to be out and out crude or disrespectful to me... i draw the line...

i try to be nice and say the zipper is broken.... while thinking.... and here's why im going to hell... i hope you die during your surgery.

ok so i could stand to lose say even 35-40 lbs... but i have always had a big build and im so fucking sorry that i have to occassionaly take prescription pills that drive my appetitte thru the roof. however, i by no means consider myself one of these walking whales that are quite common throughout philly.

i have every intention of getting into a workout routine again... if i could ever get access to the damn fitness center here at ork... but that a whole nother story.

anyways... this old hag rubbed me the wrong way, and shes only lucky to be living thanks to my parents, cuz i was so tempted to cold-cock knock her out her right there in the middle of wendys.

as a side bar... i also hate people taht walk in the middle of the god damn street because it is clean and the sidewalk has a dusting of snow on it. do they have no clue that they are impeding traffic? and are putting their lives at stake if there does happen to be an icy patch and the car slides a little??

anyways... i generally hate people...

jay i know you are feeling me on this one...

ok *rant off* go ahead and try to save my soul... or not

4 Comments:

  • You should have told her it was a tumor and not a watermelon. Tell her that's why you're at Wendy's. Because you plan to end your life and want to gorge yourself on as much filth as possible so that when you blow your head off in public, they'll have an even bigger mess to clean up when your bowels empty all over the place. Maybe then suggest the same for her. Offer to help. I seriously think that'd shut her up.

    On a serious note, you could stand to lose a couple pounds just like myself, but neither of us are morbidly obese. Nothing like the god warrior. And thank god we have better teeth.

    God Warrior Video Clip

    God Warrior Talking Bobble Head Doll

    By Blogger Stan, at 8:26 AM  

  • but i can have bad teeth and still be a sex symbol in england in the 60's!

    By Blogger daveT, at 9:18 AM  

  • People suck

    jay

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:10 PM  

  • YES! i knew jay would agree!

    By Blogger daveT, at 2:08 PM  

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