excuses are like assholes... everyone has one

>>These are ACTUAL notes written by PARENTS in a Tennessee school
>>district. Spellings have been left intact.
>>
>>1-- MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY.
>>PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.
>>
>>2-- PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER
>>SHOT.
>>
>>3-- DEAR SCHOOL : PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN 28, 29, 30,
>>31, 32 AND ALSO 33.
>>
>>4-- PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.
>>
>>5-- PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL
>>OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.
>>
>>6-- JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS
>>FACE.
>>
>>7-- CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS
>>HURT IN THE GROWING PART.
>>
>>8-- MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED
>>BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.
>>
>>9-- CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.
>>
>>10-- PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.
>>
>>
>>11-- PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE,
>>DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SH**S. NOTE: [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED
>>OUT. (Loveit!)]
>>
>>12-- PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA,
>>AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.
>>
>>13-- IRVING WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.
>>
>>
>>
>>14-- PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT. {You
>>know, this could be legit!}
>>
>>15-- I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE
>>I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR.
>>
>>16-- PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY WE FORGOT TO
>>GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY. WE
>>THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.
>>
>>17-- MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT
>>A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES.
>>
>>18-- PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND
>>COULD NOT BREED WELL.
>>
>>19-- PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH
>>GRAMPS.
>>
>>20-- GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER.
>>
>>21-- PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.
>>
>>22-- MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER,
>>SORETHROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER
>>AND SORE THROAT, HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I
>>WASN'T THE BEST EITHER SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
>>GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.
>>
>>
>>NOW WE KNOW WHY PARENTS ARE SCREAMING FOR BETTER EDUCATION FOR OUR KIDS.